That Red-Haired Man
by hull1984
Summary: Draco does not like that red-haired man, Pans-I-am!


**A/N: **Oh dear, written in 2005 after reading Green Eggs and Ham to my children one too many times. Dr Seuss please forgive me. Totally silly and indulgent, read at your peril.

* * *

_That Red-Haired Man_

That Pans-I-am  
That Pans-I-am  
I do not like  
That Pans-I-am

_Do you like  
that red-haired man?_

I do not like him,  
Pans-I-am.  
I do not like  
that red-haired man.

_Would you snog them  
here or there?_

I would not snog him  
here or there.  
I would not snog him  
anywhere.  
I do not like  
that red-haired man.  
I do not like him,  
Pans-I-am.

_Would you snog him  
in this house?  
Would you trip him,  
and then pounce?_

I would not snog him  
in this house.  
I would not trip him,  
and then pounce.  
I would not snog him  
here or there.  
I would not snog him  
anywhere.  
I do not like that red-haired man.  
I do not like him Pans-I-am.

_Would you snog him  
on a broom?  
Would you snog him  
in your room?_

Not on a broom.  
Not in my room.  
Not in this house.  
Not with a pounce.  
I would not snog him here or there.  
I would not snog him anywhere.  
I would not snog that red-haired man.  
I do not like him, Pans-I-am.

_Would you? Could you?  
In a flying car?  
Snog him! Snog him!  
Here they are._

I would not,  
could not,  
in a flying car.

_You may snog him.  
You will see.  
You may snog him  
In a tree!_

I would not, could not in a tree.  
Not in a car! You let me be.

I will not kiss him on a broom.  
I will not kiss him in my room.  
I will not kiss him in this house.  
I will not kiss him with a pounce.  
I will not kiss him here or there.  
I will not kiss him anywhere.  
I will not kiss that red-haired man  
I will not kiss him, Pans-I-am.

_A train! A train!  
A train! A train!  
Could you, would you,  
on the train?_

Not on the train! Not in a tree!  
Not in a car! Pans! Let me be!

I would not, could not on a broom.  
I could not, would not, in my room.  
I will not trip him and then pounce.  
I will not snog him in this house.  
I will not snog him here or there.  
I will not snog him anywhere.  
I will not snog that red-haired man.  
I do not like him, Pans-I-am.

_Say!  
In the dark?  
Here in the dark?  
Would you, could you, in the dark?_

I would not, could not,  
in the dark.

_Would you, could you,  
in the rain?_

I would not, could not, in the rain.  
Not in the dark. Not on the train.  
Not in a car. Not in a tree.  
I do not like him Pans, you see.  
Not in this house. Not on a broom.  
Not with a pounce. Not in my room.  
I will not snog him here or there.  
I will not snog him anywhere!

_You do not like  
that red-haired man?_

I do not  
like him,  
Pans-I-am.

_Could you, would you,  
in the tower?_

I would not,  
could not,  
in the tower!

_Would you, could you,  
in the shower?_

I could not, would not, in the shower.  
I will not, will not, in the tower.  
I will not snog him in the rain.  
I will not snog him on the train.  
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!  
Not in a car! You let me be!  
I will not snog him on a broom.  
I will not snog him in my room.  
I will not snog him in this house.  
I will not snog him with a pounce.  
I will not snog him here or there.  
I will not snog him ANYWHERE!

I do not like that red-haired man!

I do not like him,  
Pans-I-am.

_You do not like him.  
So you say.  
Snog him! Snog him!  
And you may.  
Snog him and you may, I say._

Pans!  
If you will let me be,  
I will snog him.  
You will see.

Pans!  
I like that red-haired man!  
I do! I like him, Pans-I-am!  
And I would snog him in the shower.  
And I would snog him in the tower.  
And I will snog him in the rain.  
And in the dark. And on the train.  
And in a car. And in a tree.  
He is so hot, so hot, you see!

So I will snog him on a broom.  
And I will snog him in my room.  
And I will snog him in this house.  
And I will snog him with a pounce.  
And I will snog him here and there.  
I will snog them ANYWHERE!

I do so like  
my red-haired man!  
Thank you!  
Thank you,  
Pans-I-am!

_End._


End file.
